Barbershop Terminologies Explained By An Actual Barber [With Pictures!]
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From the guy who brought you 8 Things Clients Do That Barbers Absolutely Hate brings you, how to get the Kanye west haircut in 2021 without looking stupid…
1. Find An Experienced Barber
Find a family member under the age of five years old, give them a clipper without any guards attached to it, blindfold him, and spin him around like they are about to play pin the tail on the donkey. Then sit back and let the magic happen.
2. Attach A String To Your Clipper (Pendulum Effect)
Take your clipper without any guards (very important) and attach a string to the base of the clipper. Hang it next to the client’s head, pull the clipper back about 3 feet and let it go. If done correctly, the clipper will swing by the client’s head, cutting out chunks of hair at random. Keep repeating until the client looks like they got ran over with a lawnmower.
Oh, don’t worry if it seems like the haircut is looking like complete ass; it’s called “Art.”
3. Go To Your Local Barbershop Franchise
Go to any mainstream haircutting franchise.. you already know which one does it best…
4. Find A Nursing Home:
go to a nursing home and kindly ask one of the elderly members to assist you; make sure they remove their eyeglasses to maximize the level of mistakes that can happen. Make sure they have no idea how to cut hair and it’s past their bedtime. The more grumpy the better in this case.
5. Edward Scissor Hands:
Attach your shears to your hands with duck tape, and turn the lights off. Flail your arms around for about 2-3 minutes in the general direction of your subject’s head while saying small meaningful prayers to Jesus.
FULL DISCLOSURE: Don’t do any of these things, including getting the Kayne West haircut.
Conclusion:
The Kanye West haircut is the laughing stock of the haircutting industry right now. This is not art, talent, nor skill; in fact, the clippers that cut his hair need to be charged with murder.
Just because a celebrity gets a haircut doesn’t mean we “rational people” need to try it. Speaking as a barber, I’d gladly cut your hair like this, but no promises on me saying a few celebrity roasts on the way out the door. I mean, come on bro, Ray Charles could see how shitty this haircut is!
